rien que pour tu‏

Je veux seulement tous. 

Tu es le seul que je veux 
entre le soleil et la lune, 
entre la terre et les étoiles. 
Mon coeur bat pour tous seul...
...toujours.   

Mais tu ne saura jamais.

Swallow Me Whole

Swallow Me Whole (photo from Lookout Mt., June 2013)

It was your heart I lost when the world turned gold, 

beneath the blaze of secrets untold. 

After the fire has burned away,

these ashes of love are all that remain...

...even your ghost consumed by the flame. 

I gather my voice to call out to you,

but there is no answer for my heart to beat to. 

Tied together

by these threads of wind
and the fire that burned our hearts within. 

I feel the clouds could swallow me whole, rain me down, and you’d never know.

Matters of Life and Death: Sex, Life, and Death

Isn't sex about life...and death and God? It is the essence of life, the beginning of existence. Not only is it how new life is made, but also through it we may impart life to our lover. We may also impart death. 

There is a sense of rest and peace, shelter from the world and all the heartache and hardships and loss that are part of this often unyielding planet. Connected in safety, vulnerability, and complete surrender to our lover, there is life. But sometimes there is not safety. Sometimes it is scary. Sometimes it is the idea of life; but no love, no light exists there and giving ourselves does not mean we live on in someone else, but rather that we die there between bodies full of passion without love. And always we die to our individual selves in some way while becoming one with another—we can either die to live as one or die to melt away, part of us gone forever.

Sex is a sacrifice offered on the altar of another's body; a holy sacrifice that regenerates life through acceptance or destroys it in the rejection. There is so much breathtaking beauty and fragility in baring your body and soul, your heart is left weakened either to be rebuilt in togetherness or completely broken and hollow in the empty abyss that is "alone". That is why it doesn't end when it's over. Each time, we give a part of ourselves away, which leaves us continually searching for that which we've lost within another person (or several people). The lack of fulfillment is a symptom of death; life produces contentment and satisfaction. 

And the Spirit of God, as Author and Creator of life, sex, eternity is there in all of this. His face is not veiled, his eyes do not widen in shock and disbelief. He knows that He made us with this desire, this propensity for life. It is our reckless treatment of it that garners His abhorrence—this wanton treatment and casual participation in a sacred act of being. That is why I cannot treat sex with the same casualty that some may; because it is sacred. It is the soul's exchange of life, of death, of spirit with another.